From Questions to Confidence: What Every Parent Should Know Before the IEP Meeting

 

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From Questions to Confidence: What Every Parent Should Know Before the IEP Meeting

After the evaluations were completed, we sat down again—with a new set of nerves.


This time, we weren’t asking for help—we were hearing what the professionals had found.


As an educator, I’ve sat at many of these meetings. I’ve helped explain reports and reassure parents. But sitting on the other side of the table, as our son’s parent, it was entirely different.


Even when you think you’re prepared, nothing quite matches the emotion of seeing it all in writing—your child’s strengths, challenges, delays, and diagnoses. You want to ask the right questions. You want to stay calm. But more than anything, you want to do right by your child.


That day, something clicked for me:

It’s not just about what the school sees or what the data shows—it’s about making sure our child’s story is part of the plan.


That’s where the IEP process begins.


So many parents walk into their first IEP meeting unsure of what to expect, or feeling like they’re not allowed to speak up. But here’s what I’ve learned—both as a parent and as a professional:


You have rights. You have a voice. And you are your child’s most important advocate.

Key Rights and Responsibilities of Parents in IEP Meetings

Whether this is your first meeting or your tenth, here’s a list I wish every parent had in their hands walking into the room:

Your Rights:

  • You have the right to be involved. You are a full, equal member of the IEP team. Your insights are essential.
  • You have the right to ask questions—at any time. If something is unclear, speak up. There are no bad questions.
  • You have the right to receive copies of all reports and evaluations in advance. You should have time to read and reflect before the meeting.
  • You have the right to bring someone with you. A spouse, friend, advocate, or even a private therapist—whatever makes you feel supported.
  • You have the right to disagree. If you don’t agree with the proposed plan or placement, you can request changes or even request a mediation or due process hearing.
  • You have the right to request services or evaluations. If you believe your child needs speech, OT, behavioral support—you can ask.

Your Responsibilities:

  • Come prepared. Bring your questions, your notes, and anything you’ve observed at home or in the community.
  • Stay open, but stay firm. Collaborate with the team, but don’t be afraid to advocate for what you know your child needs.
  • Keep records. Keep copies of all IEPs, evaluations, and communication in one place.
  • Follow up. If services are agreed upon, monitor your child’s progress and ask for updates.
  • Remember: You belong at the table. Don’t let titles or paperwork silence your voice. You know your child better than anyone.


As we sat through that first meeting, it was emotional—but it was also empowering. Because now, we had language. We had a plan. We had the beginning of a team.


And as a parent, I knew—we could do this. We weren’t alone.

If you’ve been through your first IEP meeting—or you’re gearing up for one—I’d love to hear from you.

What helped you prepare? What do you wish you’d known?

Let’s keep sharing and supporting each other. Drop a comment below—I’ll be reading every one.


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