Finding Your Voice: A Parent’s Role in the IEP Meeting

 

IEP meetings can feel intimidating—especially the first few.

You sit at a table surrounded by professionals with degrees, titles, and test results.

And there you are—the parent.

Worried. Emotional. Hoping you’re doing it right.


But let me tell you something I’ve learned both as an educator and as a parent:

You belong at that table.

Your voice matters more than you know.


No one on that team knows your child like you do.

You see them at their best and at their most vulnerable.

You notice the small progress, the big setbacks, and everything in between.


So how do you make sure your voice is heard—especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure?

Here’s what’s helped me and the families I’ve worked with:


1. Come Prepared—Emotionally and Practically

Bring your notes. Write down what’s working, what’s not, and what you’ve observed at home.

But also, prepare emotionally. These meetings are about your child. It’s okay to feel things. Bring tissues if you need to. Take a breath if you need to. That’s part of being an advocate.


2. Ask Questions Without Apology

If you don’t understand something, ask.

If a goal sounds too big, say so.

If something doesn’t sit right with you, speak up.

Try saying:


  • “Can you explain that another way?”
  • “What does that support look like during the school day?”
  • “How will we know if this is working?”

You don’t need to have the answers—you just need to ask the questions.

3. Speak From Experience

You might not be a speech therapist or psychologist—but you are the expert on your child.

You know what motivates them. What shuts them down. What progress looks like at home.

Your observations are valid—and crucial.


4. Advocate with Confidence and Respect

Being firm doesn’t mean being combative.

You can say, “I’m not comfortable with this,” and still be collaborative.

You can request changes or additional services without being labeled “difficult.”

And if you ever feel dismissed, it’s okay to request another meeting or bring in support.


5. Follow Up and Stay Engaged

The IEP meeting isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of a partnership.

Stay in touch with your child’s teacher and case manager.

Ask for updates. Offer feedback. Keep the lines of communication open.





You Are Your Child’s Advocate—And That’s Powerful

When I sit at the IEP table now, I remind myself:

I’m not just here because I’m his parent.

I’m here because I know him best.

And no one can replace that voice.


If you’ve found a way to speak up that worked for you, I’d love to hear it.

What’s helped you find confidence at the table? Share it in the comments—we’re stronger together.


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